Change by Design

Change and relationships

Welcome to our second edition of SOON for 2006

An oft-repeated maxim around St Luke's, and one central to its strengths-based approach to child and family social work is: ‘change only happens when it is noticed'. Change and growth can be slow and incremental; it can be missed altogether if our attention is not drawn to it or if we don't have the right tools to ‘see' it.

Noticing change can be more complex than we might think and there are many aspects to the change process that we need to be aware of. Measuring and recording change are important. Noticing and listening to the perceptions of others, whether they be individuals or groups, is vital. And acting on those observations is equally important.

Of course, not all change is progress. Noticing positive change needs to be complemented by noticing negative change – set backs and deterioration – so that ‘slipping back' can be prevented. And, indeed, noticing a lack of change in either direction – that is, maintaining the status quo – can be very important at times. Change is seldom linear, sequential or logical. Noticing the ‘one step back' as well as the ‘two steps forward' can be vital.

Finally, one person's perception of change needs to be tested against the perceptions of others. What one person might see as a significant positive change may be regarded as negative or insignificant by others, and vice versa.

In this issue of SOON you'll read about our newest resource for noticing and talking about change. Change by Design challenges us to think about how we can enact shared leadership in our groups, teams, organisations, and our relationships with others. It is a tool for keeping serious optimism alive in the way we think about and participate in any process of change.

Read on …

A couple - let's call them Bob and Sandra - have lived at the same address for close to 30 years. In the last couple of years Bob has retired from his work. Sandra has secretly longed to move from their current home before they are too old to enjoy a 'second life'. Bob however refuses to discuss or even contemplate moving house. Each time Sandra attempts to raise the issue, Bob clams up. What can she do to at least get Bob to talk about things? Well, what Sandra did was to flick through the 60 Change by Design cards and select the two or three that simply caught her attention.

The first question that seemed to resonate was, Do I value social relationships? This question made Sandra think that perhaps Bob was anxious about shifting away from his friends. She decided to ask Bob about this.

The next question was, Do I respect difference? For some reason this question rang a tiny bell with Sandra. After thinking things over she came to the realisation that what she wanted most from any move was some space that was hers and hers only. Bob had his space, and maybe he was feeling anxious about losing it. It wasn't immediately clear how Sandra would raise the issue, if at all, but it gave her some insight into her own motives.

Finally, she picked up the card, Do we understand the purpose of the change? Clearly this was an issue for the two of them. They hadn't even managed to start a discussion let alone reach any understanding. It was obvious to Sandra that she had certain understandings - things that she'd accepted as givens even though she and Bob had not discussed them. Maybe it was important to put questions about moving on hold and instead talk about about change in their lives.

The last thing Sandra decided to do was to leave the Change by Design cards on the table next to where Bob sat. Was all of this manipulative? When I heard about it I thought, no it's not manipulative. It would have been if Bob had been tricked into a making decision against his better judgement. But what Sandra found was that the cards assisted her by suggesting ways to open-up conversations where previously there was none. Like a lot of folk, Bob comes to decisions slowly and in his own time. He likes to ponder. Having a couple of key questions assisted the discussions enormously.

Kevin Vallence, author of Change by Design

In this intriguing book, which draws on contemporary European and British practice, the world of the writer meets that of the human service practitioner. The medium of creative writing and its impacts on people's sense of wellbeing is the core topic explored by the contributors to this volume. Each brings to their chapter a freshness, and a challenge that will interest human service workers feeling constrained by routine work practices. Those who sense there should be much more beyond the case notes, interviews and monthly statistical returns will find here some real possibilities and new ways of thinking about helping and healing processes.

Many chapters in this collection bring alive the experiences and complex emotions of the people we so easily label 'clients'. In the examples of their poetry and prose, and the dialogues we are able to have with each author, the richness and artistry of living well is apparent. Writing for writers, students, therapists, teachers and those who use services, is celebrated for its legitimacy as an enabling tool that can access what can't always be said.

For those who want practical examples of therapeutic writing with client groups there are several which provide standout descriptions of programs and their outcomes. In particular, I found myself moved by John Killick's chapter on writing and dementia, and the Hartill et al article on the Kingfisher Project with terminally-ill patients in a palliative care setting.

My assumptions about human service workers being those with the expertise in therapeutic approaches was given a shake on reading of the experiences of writers taking up the challenges of therapy and personal change through writing. No doubt there are those in Australia who are writing and working in this field, but I am not hearing about their work and influence. For the rest of us, this book is a wake up call to think much more laterally about the pursuit of wellbeing.

Reviewed by Jennifer Lehmann

La Trobe University, Bendigo, Australia

'True leadership is not dictated from above but demonstrated by ordinary people contributing to a ground-swell for change.'

Andrew Demetriou, AFL Chief Executive, The Age 22/1/2005

 

SOON mailbox Recently, one of my clients was finding it difficult to manage various areas of her life when her husband died. She felt that in receiving her compensation many of her family and friends were judging and making fun of her. She had become quite distressed with her feelings around the matter. She also found it hard to verbalise what she was feeling. So, we sat down with butcher's paper, pastels and the Pocket of Stones. Using the faces, we made a map of who she was concerned about. After about an hour we had quite a map of 'who's who". When it boiled down to it much of the distress grew from her own feelings about receiving financial gain from her husband's death and only one face of around 18 was cause for concern. All those other faces were really caring, but because they were not really saying much to her about her money she felt guilty. Through this exercise we were able to explore ways of dealing with the issue and one week later a much happier lady came back to tell me of the changes that had occurred.   Maybe not quite what the Pocket of Stones was designed for, but how wonderful to work with them in this way.   Bette Phillips Family Support Service Coordinator Work-related Grief Support CMN