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Keep your eyes peeled for our 2008 catalogue...

Coming to a letterbox near you in May 2008.

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 'I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.'

Up close and monster-ous

Byron and the Chairs - hot off the press

Here is an ideal resource for parents, teachers and counsellors to create conversations with younger children about sibling jealousy ...and other emotional monsters who sneak into our lives.

Byron has a problem: a new baby brother called Max. But Max isn't the only new addition to the household. A little, green, beady-eyed monster has also moved in—a monster called ‘Jealousy'.

When Byron outgrows his favourite yellow chair, things go seriously downhill for our young hero. The new blue chair Mum buys for Byron—a chair for big kids—means giving up the yellow one for Max. And Jealousy's not having any of that!

This delightful story follows Byron as he develops the strengths he needs to put Jealousy firmly in its place.

Created by Sydney-based psychologist Rebecca Sng, the story draws on narrative therapy techniques that demonstrate how jealousy can be talked about in ways that avoid self-recrimination for the child.

Like all picture books published by Innovative Resources, Byron and the Chairs recognises the powerful, therapeutic potential of storytelling. While Byron aims to allow children to externalise what is an essentially internal experience, stories like this also foster positive interaction between adults and children. The reflective notes in the back of the book suggest a range of activities for parents, teachers and counsellors that will encourage conversations with children about the sticky problem of sibling jealousy.

Bright, animated illustrations by Simon Greiner are sure to secure this book's appeal to younger children.

Even if the monster in your house isn't Jealousy, Byron's amusing and courageous conquering of his own pesky green invader demonstrates how even a child can discover unexpected strengths when grappling with little monsters.

View Byron and the Chairs on our website

 

Symbols in Japan

For the past eight years Linda Espie has been working as a loss, grief and bereavement educator in Japan . We asked Linda to share some reflections from her most recent trip and she included some photo's of participants using Symbols for the first time…

After an initial request to work with staff at a hospice in Kagoshima, the invitation was extended to visit and lecture at the Eikoh Hospice Centre in Fukuoka and I have been invited to return there regularly.

The Innovative Resources tools I have introduced in Japan have been embraced with enthusiasm and at times delicate poignancy by workshop participants. As an educator working with non-English speaking groups of between 32 and 75 participants the diversity of these products makes them a greatly valued resource.

At a recent workshop participants included palliative care, generalist, disability and midwifery nurses; doctors, including palliative care specialists; pastoral care staff, psychologists, occupational and speech therapists; social workers, Master's students, pharmacists and nurse educators.

The group's diversity not only added to the learning environment but also provided validation—from a rich mix of domains—for the thoughts and feelings experienced by individual participants. Such feedback affirms the need for this type of education and training in Japan .

Like many places, health and welfare professionals here often overlook and under-value the setting aside of time for deep reflection upon their experiences.

Despite this, I have successfully introduced The Bears, both sets of Strength Cards (translated into Japanese in 2004), Koala Company (a great and joyful hit!), Signposts (despite the English), Shadows, and most recently, Symbols into my workshops.

I spread the Symbols cards around and wondered how things would develop as participants were invited to scan, choose a card and then share in pairs and groups of four. It worked!

The connections and engagement, mood and tone that developed as participants held one or more of the Symbols cards were very evident. At times the room was a-buzz with lively chat and at other times more subdued and genteel.

My most sincere thanks to St Luke's Innovative Resources and my translator!

View Symbols on our website

New on Our Shelf List...

The Woodcutters Wife

What a delight it is when a book like The Woodcutter's Wife, by Dolla Merrillees, arrives on our desk. This very poignant—but confronting—book about ‘stepmotherhood' has generated national interest in a role that has been largely ignored or maligned. Dolla generously agreed to answer a few of our questions (on top of the zillion others she been fielding since the book was released). We began with this one:

How typical is your experience?

Stepparents often walk into a situation where there is, or has been, conflict and tension. The children may be resentful, hostile, bewildered and unhappy and this puts pressure on the new relationship. A working relationship with the other biological parent is not always forthcoming. This was certainly true of my situation.

Within the space of 12 months—unprepared and ill equipped—I became a full time stepmum to a four year old boy. The transition from an independent single woman to taking on this level of responsibility was at times overwhelming. My role was ill-defined and confusing and the invisibility and isolation I felt, I believe, is a common theme for many stepparents.

Despite this, society places the onus on the stepparent to act selflessly and with maturity. I'm the first to admit there were times when I was neither! Like any other family, we have our ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade them for the world!

There is a half-addressed notion that support, advice and acknowledgement of the step-mother role is very inadequate. Why do you think this is the case?

Stepmothers experience unique tensions and challenges. As women they are expected to care for the children— to be responsible, giving, generous and loving—and yet as stepmothers remain distant. This creates a contradiction in the role.

Additionally, stepmothers, perhaps more so than stepfathers, continue to be plagued by stereotypes of the ‘wicked stepmothers' of myth and fairytales. Whilst this has a powerful hold on contemporary imagination, stepmothers will continue to remain unacknowledged despite, for many, the loving bond they form with their stepchildren and the responsibility they feel towards them. This portrayal has significant consequences on a stepmother's self-esteem, her sense of invisibility, deflated expectations, and worryingly, her reluctance to seek professional help.

Legislation was inadequate to deal with your particular situation. How can we as a society make the choices and decisions to safeguard and improve the lives of children like Jonathan?

Divorce is now an epidemic: over 46% of first marriages and up to 60% of second marriages dissolve. The number of children living in step or blended families is rising while the social and legal infrastructure fails to keep pace with these increasingly common family types. Even the Australia Bureau of Statistics is unable to provide accurate data on the composition of families.

What is really needed is a change in social policy development to support carers and stepfamilies, change their lack of visibility, address negative stereotypes and make adequate resources available for those who undertake the sometimes thankless task of bringing up these children. Couples must be empowered to work together in order to make the difficult dynamics of stepfamily life work.

At the end of the book you say that you cannot conceive of life without Jonathan and you insist that parenting is parenting—and whether the child came out from between your own thighs or not is of relatively little consequence. Why do you think people take the attitude that a step-parent is so very different?

The ‘wicked stepmother' myth reinforces the notion that a non-biological mother cannot nurture a child as well as the biological parent, although it's interesting to note that this attitude does not extend to adoptive or foster parents. Being a step-parent does not necessarily mean we feel less responsibility towards children in our care. We all want to provide a safe, loving, environment and I hope that as a mother, stepmother and parent I am raising children who will be responsible, tolerant, creative, happy and kind.

It's early days, but have you had any interesting/positive/unexpected feedback about the book?

Although I had expected a degree of criticism for my candor, I've been overwhelmed and very touched by the feedback I've received. What is clear is that The Woodcutter's Wife has touched a chord. Just knowing that there are other families out there like us provides a measure of comfort and reassurance. One woman has been inspired to set up a support group on Facebook called: Wicked Stepmothers Inc!

Has writing the book had any unexpected benefits for your and Jonathan's relationship?

Jonathan's main complaint at the moment is his sore hand from all the autographing he's had to do for family and friends! Oh—and he was worried about fending off the paparazzi at the school gates! I've now managed to reassure him that's unlikely to happen!

I could never have written such an honest account without my husband's or Jonathan's help. He's lived and breathed the book over the past couple of years—and told me he thinks “it's not too bad!”

What can I say – I'm very proud of the growing maturity and confidence of my son.

View The Woodcutter's Wife online